human Being, or human being?

It’s my birthday this week, and as I mark off another year, I’ve been thinking about who I am.
The question leaves me a bit stumped, which panics me slightly. Surely during my 30-something years on this planet, being myself nearly the whole time, I should be able to tell you who I am?

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I can tell you my name, where I live, where I came from, what I look like, what job I do, what I like (and don’t like) to eat.
I can also tell you what my relationships are with the people around me…I’m a partner, sister, daughter, friend, colleague and mummy to a fur-baby.
I could tell you some of my attributes, I’m kind, compassionate, honest, trustworthy and reasonably bright. I’m also moody (especially when hungry or tired), messy, a bit selfish and, I’m told, highly strung.
I could tell you some things I’m not. I’m not adventurous (as this previous blog post can attest). I’m not mean, or a bully, or a Corbyn fan. I’m not especially into music or films or video games.

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The problem with all of this is that none of it really sums me up, and is definitely not succinct enough to be a proper answer. It’s also too general; in some situations I may not be honest and I can be completely selfless.

Perhaps it’s a good thing. Knowing who I am might stop me from becoming something else…and sometimes what I already know about myself stops me from doing stuff I really want to do, for better or worse.
Perhaps if I “found” myself I would stop looking. Stop being open to new possibilities or ideas.

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So having set out to be more certain about who I am, what I believe and what I want, I have decided that the best way is to be utterly uncertain and open to modification.
Here’s to being a human being, not a Human Being.

If you’d like to read anything else I’ve written, find out more about me or say hi that would be amazing.

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