There is really only 1 thing you SHOULD be doing….politely and respectfully telling anyone who tells you what you should be doing to fuck off; even if that person is you. If they go one step further and use the word MUST, they probably deserve a slap in the face. (I’m not condoning violence…I’m just saying they (or you) have it coming.)
You should get married. You should have children. You should work 40 hours a week. You should go to the gym, eat healthy, drink wheatgrass. You should get up early, drink only water, fall in love. You should travel, read, go to university. You should want to get promoted, be thinner or famous.
I’m not saying that you can’t do these things if that’s what you want – you absolutely can and I would whole heartedly encourage you to go for it.
I’m saying that you don’t have to do these things because someone tells you (or you think) that you SHOULD.
It’s specifically the word “Should” that I am taking exception to here. “Should” means it’s something you are not currently doing. “Should” means that it’s the only correct course of action. “Should” means you ought to feel guilty if you don’t already.
I can’t think of a single good reason for keeping this word in your vocabulary.
Be on the lookout for this word. Whether it’s your mum, friend, boss or yourself that says it – forget the fear of looking like a petulant child, and ask “Why SHOULD I?”
A suggestion for a replacement word is COULD. You could get married. You could have children. You could work 40 hours a week. You could do the gym, eat healthy, drink wheatgrass. You could get up early, drink only water, fall in love. You could travel, read, go to university. You could desire a promotion, to be thinner or famous.
“Could” means you are not obligated to do these things. “Could” means you have options. “Could” means it’s alright if you chose another way. “Could” takes away the guilt and opens you up to alternatives.
You could go to the gym, or you could have a swim, or you could walk the dog, or you could stay in bed a bit longer, or you could get up and have a doughnut for breakfast.
There is a never ending list of things you could do and only one thing you really should do if you want to be happier – stop using the word should.
Anxiety affects everyone in different ways. Whether its general anxiety, phobias, addictions, habits, weight issues or anything else you do it your own way. So, it stands to reason that the solution should be as individual as you are. I use a range of techniques, such as Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, EFT, Reiki and many other tools I’ve picked up along the way to work with YOU to find the best fit. We can work online from the comfort of your own home, or you can arrange to come to my private therapy room near Carlisle, Cumbria.