You don’t deserve to be happy. Nor does anyone else.
It’s not that I don’t wish happiness for you – I absolutely do and I hope with all my heart that you have found, or will find, a way to be content with your life.
As I scroll through quotes Pintrest (something I probably spend way too much time doing) I keep seeing graphics exclaiming that we all deserve to be happy/successful/better and how we shouldn’t let anyone let us forget that. Well, I may be going against the grain here, but I really want you to forget that.
My real problem here is with the word deserve.
If you deserve to happy it suggests that happiness is something that is served to us in return for some kind of correct behaviour. It’s not.
Sometimes in your life you’re not going to be happy. Sometimes you’re going to feel like shit. Sometimes you’re going to want to hide away. Sometimes things are so difficult that being happy feels like a million miles away. It is the same for every one of us. How about we don’t make ourselves feel worse by feeling that on top of all the crap we are also being dealt less than we deserve.
Clinging to injustice of being served up less than you deserve not only deepens the anguish, but can also make it last longer. Accept the grief, pain, sadness as it is. Let it wash over you. Just remember that, like a wave on the sand, it’s not going to stay forever.
I’m also not sure that grasping at happiness is the best use of our time. Like all emotions, happiness is fleeting. I feel like sometimes if we’re not happy all the time we feel like we’re failing. It’s not a failing, it’s life.
What we can do is choose to accept each moment as it is and be content with that. I feel that acceptance and contentment is a better goal than happiness. It doesn’t mean that you don’t work to change things that piss you off, but it does mean that you’re not resentful about not necessarily being joy-filled whilst you do it.
So, no, you don’t deserve to be happy. Contentment is something you choose, not something you need to be worthy of. When it comes to your emotions, feelings or state of mind remove the word deserve from your vocabulary.
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