Have you ever felt homesick? It’s a horrible, sicky, yearning to be somewhere other than where you are. To be at home.
When I feel homesick I find it hard to concentrate on anything other than how long it is until I can get back where I belong. I don’t want to engage with whatever is happening around me, no matter how much fun it is. I feel anxious and sullen and for goodness sake do not let me hear Michel Bublé singing “Home” because I will want to weep and join in at the same time and that is not going to help anyone.
I see the lights of Penrith from the M6 and shed a tear of joy and relief – I’m back on home ground, breathing good North Cumbrian air again.
But what about when you feel homesick when you are at home? Maybe we don’t call it homesickness if the physical location is different but the symptoms feel just the same. Still disengaged, anxious, sullen and sometimes tearful. It still feels like you’re not where you should be.
Maybe not so easy to fix. I can understand why people feel the need to go and travel the world to find themselves when they feel this way. Off we head, out into the world, unaware that the answer is to come back into ourselves.
We live such busy lives that we just don’t stop to check in with ourselves often enough. Then by the time we do come back the garden is looking over grown, it feels all stuffy inside where no one has been in for a long time, it smells different and there is a strange, heavy quietness that feels a bit unnerving.
The temptation is to just back out of the door before we disturb the dust and pretend we never made a reappearance at all. Just get back into the bright lights and loud music that the fast lane tempts us with. That homesickness still sneaks back in the quiet times.
The only answer is to roll your sleeves up and get to work. Fling open the windows, mow the lawn, unpack your shit and remember how to be comfortable in this place you’ve missed so deeply.
Home isn’t just your place in the outer world, it’s your place in the inner world too.
The phrase “Home is where the heart is.” could not be more relevant – home is that safe, calm, beautiful place inside of you where you are so perfectly yourself. Whenever you feel anxious, stressed or otherwise out of sorts, it’s time to find your way back.
The joy is that once you know where it is, it’s always with you. No matter where you are in the world you can always be at home.
If you’re feeling a little lost finding your way home check out my services page and see how I can help.