Once upon a time, many many years ago, some one seems to have decided that some feelings are good and some feelings are bad. Happiness, Joy and Courage are good. Anger, Sadness and Fear are bad. We seem to have been taught this for generations to the point that now if you feel any “bad” feelings at all you’re unwell.
In our quest to appear well, a feeler of only good feelings, we squash down, run away from and distract ourselves out of feeling any “bad” feelings. In a twist of irony that Alanis Morrisette would be proud of, it’s this ignore-ance that actually makes us unwell.
Instead of feeling the “bad” feelings when they come up, acknowledging them and letting them go, we store them in our bodies. We refuse to feel them and cover them up with over consumption (of food, alcohol, shopping, Netflix or just about anything really) until that over consumption becomes a problem and we go and see a professional for help.
We seek help for the side effect, not the cause, which is why we so often don’t resolve the behaviour we seek help for.
At the same time we blame ourselves when the “good” feelings don’t last. We think we should be constantly be happy and motivated and if we’re not there is something wrong with us. I think our expectations of ourselves are just way to high.
I’ve shared before what I’ve learned about emotions. Emotions are Energy In Motion. They are all equal. Sure, some feel more pleasant and comfortable than others, but they should all be fluid. When we get stuck in them is when the problems occur. That stands for “good” emotions too. Can you imagine what it would be like to feel joy at all times? There are many occasions in life where that would feel totally inappropriate and uncomfortable.
I suppose what I’m saying is that you are not broken if you feel hurt, anxious, stressed, angry, scared or sad. You are human.