Argh! Panic stations!
There now seems that there will be an end to lock down and I haven’t got done all the things that I wanted to do.
I haven’t even started most of them.
In fact, I’m writing this on a Saturday lunch time, to be published tomorrow morning, even though I said weeks ago that I was going to use this time to get a whole load of blogs written in advance so I was prepared and organised.
When I had endless amounts of time to get things done it felt like I didn’t need to hurry. What was the point of starting, there was always tomorrow, or the next day, or next week. Today I could just float around.
At the time I told myself I needed to take the time to rest and if I’m reasonable with myself I stand by that.
At the times when I am being a bit unkind to myself for having not met some probably unreasonable explanations I set for myself, I kick myself for being lazy, undisciplined (and while I’m at it, fat, stupid and a failure with bad hair).
Of course there is no point me getting mad about it now, I can’t get that time back. I just remind myself that I did the best I could in the situation I was in.
I think it just goes to show that I need to have deadlines in order to be productive. There needs to be an end date, something to aim for or it seems a bit pointless. That’s a very good lesson to learn. I can now build in ways of being accountable to a certain date in all the projects I under take.
I probably always knew that was the case really, I’m a bugger for waiting until the waiter arrives to take my order before making the final decision.
If I go to the bigger picture, I think it’s an excellent argument against living forever. Forever is a really long time. If I have spent the last 8 weeks just floating along doing not much, imagine how much of that I could do with forever. I COULD learn everything there is to learn, but what would be the point as eventually I’d have nothing to do, so might as well put it off until another day.
If I haven’t used 3 months productively, I’m pretty sure I would waste an eternity as well.