Just be yourself. Just be myself!?!
Oh, wow! To live a good life I just have to be myself?! Seems like great advice but it kind of sends me into an existential crisis if I’m honest.
In order to be myself, I feel like first I need to define myself and I don’t know how to do that. Which are the required fields in the “know yourself” form?
What do you do for a living? My job doesn’t really reflect who I am as a person, my hypnosis business maybe does more so, but I’m more than that.
Who your family is? I suppose that tells part of the story, but I’m different from my family in many ways. I also have many people who I class as my family but on paper aren’t really, so do they count?
How I look? My hair colour and weight fluctuate seemingly from day to day. I’m gradually getting older and looks change, so that doesn’t feel permanent enough and beauty is more than skin deep as they say.
What I wear? I don’t really feel like my clothes reflect my personality, it’s not something I really pay much intertest in (which those of you that know me personally I’m sure will attest to! “Slightly dishevelled” seems to be my signature look).
The films, music or books that I love? Maybe, I do love Mary Poppins and Sound of Music, so perhaps I am Julie Andrews?
Maybe I need to go deeper?
Is it my past experiences? Which ones? All of them, or just some significant ones? What about the experiences I haven’t had?
Is it my inner voice or my thoughts? If you’ve been reading for a while you’ll know how often I say our thoughts lie to us and can’t always be trusted, so I don’t think so.
Is it my beliefs? My beliefs have seen massive updates in all kinds of areas over the past year or 2. From how I believe I “should” behave to what I believe happens after death and lots in between. My friends and family still seem to recognise me, so I don’t think that does it.
Maybe it’s a little bit of all of those things, alongside lots of other things and maybe a little of none of that stuff as well.
Perhaps the part of me that would like a solid definition is just something else that does or doesn’t define me. I’m a moving object, so things change. Maybe it’s better that I’m not a concept that’s set in stone. Maybe I don’t need to fit into a box. Maybe I can be more fluid than that.
So I’ll just practice being comfortable being who I am moment to moment, knowing that it might change from day to day or even minute to minute. As Alice says – I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed since then.