It Wasn’t Time

I’ve just applied to start a Degree in Psychology and Counselling!

The thing that I told myself had been stopping me before now is time. I thought it would take too long and I thought I didn’t have the time anyway.

Both are excuses I made up, and are utter codswallop. (What a great word codswallop is, it’s not used enough these days!)

It’s going to take me up to 6 years to complete this degree. I am studying part time and with distance learning. 6 Years sounds like an incredibly long time, but had I started when I first seriously thought about taking on this level of education I would be nearly finished by now. 6 years IS a long time, but that time will pass regardless, so I might as well be using it.

In the last month or so, whilst working my day job, marketing my own business, helping clients, moving house, packing and unpacking I have had time to watch 3 and a half series of This is Us. (Thank you my friend for the recommendation, I’ve really enjoyed it. It’s on Amazon Prime if anyone else fancies checking it out.) Now, while I wholeheartedly believe that taking time to rest and unwind is very important, I think this just illustrates that I do have space to make an hour or two a day for studying.

So it wasn’t the time.

I think what it actually was is self-doubt in my abilities. Am I smart enough? I did OK at school, but it wasn’t an environment I enjoyed and I only did 1 year of 6th form before leaving and starting work. I write pretty regularly these days, as you know, but I haven’t written an essay in a long long time and will I be able to? I guess I’ll have to learn!

Will I be committed enough? I’ve had a few false starts. I’ve picked up hobbies and interests along the way that have been a bit of a flash in the pan. I didn’t want to take this on only to allow it to fizzle out. I can’t read the future, that is a risk I suppose, but I know that understanding people and more importantly, helping them to understand themselves, is what this part of my life is all about. It fits with my business and will help me improve and grow.

What will other people think? Will other people be saying “who does she think she is trying to do a degree?!” well, no one has said that – it was only me thinking that. Maybe when I worry that other people will say these kind of things it’s always because I am worried it might be true? The truth is that everyone has been really supportive. Anyone who pulls me down for bringing myself up is struggling with issues with themselves, not me and I wish them well. 

So really, it wasn’t time. For me, it’s never time.

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