The fantastic thing about learning different therapeutic skills and attending training courses is that invariably it gives me the opportunity to work through certain things of my own. I don’t mind admitting that I still have things that I’m working on, we’re all a work in progress after all.
The particular thing I was working on was feeling (and/or being) sick after eating anywhere but at home. It’s something that has impacted me ever since I can remember. (Ask most of my childhood friends and they will have a story about a time I’ve thrown up next to or even on them!) It’s something I’ve managed by either not eating out, eating very little when not at home or heading home straight after eating, preferably alone or with someone in the know so I can stop if I need to.
It’s not been a major issue, but it can be embarrassing and limits our options when we’re on holiday etc.
Anyway, you didn’t really need to know what the issue was! During the session I remembered a time when I had been scolded by an adult for taking a second biscuit at play school. I’m not sure at this point who that adult was, but at that moment I made the belief that it was not safe for me to eat anywhere other than at home. I have carried that belief with me since I was about 3.
It made me sad that I had always believed this. Then I got angry that that lady had said something that had had that impact on me and that she probably didn’t even remember saying it. It probably never even crossed her mind again. Then I wondered how many things I had said to others, that had such an impact and I forgave her and vowed never to say anything ever again, just in case. Then I remembered that people had also said things to me that have had a really positive impact, even if they didn’t know it, and I hoped that I am that person in other peoples story too, so I gave up my vow of silence.
All of that happened in less than 2 minutes. It was quite the rollercoaster.
My point of telling you this is 2 fold.
Firstly, we each have an impact on the people around us, whether we are trying to or not. Everyone sees the world through their own filters and beliefs, and we can never know what will get through and form a solid belief, positive or negative. We can only hope that the way we behave, speak to, and care for those around us tips the balance in our favour.
Secondly, just because you have always thought something, doesn’t mean that it’s true. It may have been someone else’s words that caused you to create the belief in the first place, but it’s your responsibility now to investigate, evaluate and change what isn’t working for you.
This afternoon (I’m writing this on Thursday) I went out for lunch with friends, had a lovely time chatting and enjoying a delicious meal, had a nice little walk and a problem free drive home. Maybe it’s not life changing, but maybe it is.