Listen, I get it. I’ve been there in my own way.
It’s easier to ignore it or accept it and live with it than to change it.
Cos if you’re going to change it, first you’re going to have to admit that it needs to change, that it’s actually doing you more harm than good and that’s hard to do.
It means you’re going to have to look at and evaluate yourself rather than look away and avoid your own gaze in the mirror and that’s uncomfortable.
It also means that all the stuff you’ve been squashing down, covering up and walking past is going to have to be examined, sorted through and dealt with and that seems like too much. You don’t know if you can survive that.
You’ll be opened up, on show and what if you don’t like what you see? What if the people around you don’t like what they see?
You don’t know who you’ll be on the other side. You don’t even know if you can make it to the other side.
So, it’s easier to stand on the riverbank telling yourself, and everyone else, that you’re going to do it but never diving in. Maybe you’ve dipped your toe in to show willing, maybe you’ve even got in up to your knees, but you stayed close enough to the bank to step back.
Because what if you can’t do it? What if you’re seen to be struggling? What if you don’t make it?
Better to never try? To ignore it? To accept it? To live with it?
But look up, look across the river. There are people on the other side already who have made it, if they can do it, so can you.
There’s no bridge, no easy answer. You are going to have to go through it, but there are people ready to throw you a lifeline if you need it.
And look up and down the bank you are on, look behind you. There are many other people standing with you, also afraid to dive in. Maybe you will inspire them to step forward too.
So, you can stay on the riverbank as long as you like, but you don’t get any further on your journey until you cross this river.
I wish I could tell you it will be plain sailing from there, that there will be no other rivers to cross, but my experience tells me there will be and you will stand on the banks of those for a while as well. But you gradually get used to the water, you learn to enjoy the challenges a little more each time, you don’t stand on the bank so long.
I hope 2021 is the year you get your hair wet.