Ok, so this blog started out as a pithy little article that was supposed to highlight that not all our thoughts are true, and descending into a mess and a look into my personal abyss. I decided not to tidy it up and just lay it out there as it is. I’m not even going to proofread it, so I apologize in advance if parts don’t make sense. If I look at it again I’ll edit it. I’m hoping it will be of benefit to you.
The Lies I Tell Myself
I don’t care what people think of me.
I’m not bothered about my weight.
I’m doing the best I can.
3 of the lies I tell myself. These are conscious lies too – I know on many levels they are not true, but they are convenient to explain times when I don’t take action.
I’m discovering though, that they are not actually the reason I don’t take action.
It’s the unconscious beliefs underneath those lies which actually stop me stepping forward and I’m working on uncovering those. If you read helpful V’s Unhelpful a few weeks ago, you’ll know already that those beliefs are likely to lies too.
We’ll have a little look at those lies one by one.
Of course I care what people think of me. It’s programmed into me to need to be accepted by the tribe in order to be safe. So that leads me to this lie – I need to be accepted in order to be safe. That is an inappropriate belief to spread across every part of my life. There are many people who I do not need acceptance from in order to remain safe. Those who will keep me safe, predominately my family, accept me anyway – not entirely unconditionally, but not far off.
I’m not bothered about my weight is a really convenient lie because it allows me to keep eating things that I really enjoy eating and sitting on the sofa watching Netflix rather than eating nutritious food and exercising a suitable amount. If I don’t care about it, I don’t have to take responsibility for it. Our bodies are the vehicle in which we live our lives, it’s important to take care of it. I honestly almost want to take this paragraph out – I’m not sure I’m keen on taking responsibility for this. It’s so much easier to keep denying the issue rather than working on it.
I’m doing the best I can – this is partly addressed above, but my health is not the only area I’m slacking with. I dress this up as being kind to myself, resting and being gentle. Sometimes that is needed, but sometimes, if I’m honest, it’s an excuse. There’s some stuff here about not being worthy or deserving of success – more lies. How do I know that’s a lie? Honestly, because when I look around me, I don’t see anyone else who I believe isn’t worthy or deserving of success. Do I really think I am special enough to be the only one? I suppose that’s another lie I tell myself.
Really getting down and challenging these thoughts is really uncomfortable, but well worth doing. You don’t even have to try and argue against them, or come up with an alternative for it to be a worth while exercise. Simply acknowledging there is a chance that what you believe may be false creates a bit of a shift. Then rinse and repeat.
Anxiety affects everyone in different ways. Whether its general anxiety, phobias, addictions, habits, weight issues or anything else you do it your own way. So, it stands to reason that the solution should be as individual as you are. I use a range of techniques, such as Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, EFT, Reiki and many other tools I’ve picked up along the way to work with YOU to find the best fit. We can work online from the comfort of your own home, or you can arrange to come to my private therapy room near Carlisle, Cumbria.