Where do you want to be?

I’m looking at the key stages of implementing changes this month – last week we looked at recognizing where you are now – if you missed it just click the link below to get there.

The basic steps are as follows –

Recognise where you are now.

Decide where you want to be.

Figure out the actions you could take to get you closer.

Do it. (and keep doing with necessary reviews and adjustments as you go.)

Decide where you want to be

AKA Setting Goals.

If you’ve ever worked with any kind of coach, you’ll know that setting goals is one of the biggest steps you need to take to make changes or achieve anything.

If I go back to last week’s journey metaphor – you now know where you are starting from, but you also need to know where you are heading.  Otherwise how do you know which way to travel and how will you know when you get there?

However, where I differ from the norm in my thinking is that I do not believe that the achievement of the goal in question should be how you measure the success of your journey.

Let me explain.

As an example, many of us have goals around our health, specifically our weight and we can get very fixated on numbers. Whether that be on a scale or on the labels on our clothes.

It’s helpful to have a number as a measure, it’s easy to track, but ultimately you cannot control what your body does. All you can do is control your own behaviours, such as eating in a way that supports your goal and doing appropriate exercises or whatever.

You cannot force your body to lose 2lbs a week or maintain a certain weight. Your behaviours will be able to influence it, but you don’t have control.

In this case, you need to know where you want to get to (roughly) and by when (approximately) so that you can formulate the correct plan (more of this next week). But your measure of success should be how well you carried out that plan, and over came the obstacles in the path (things that are in your control) rather than whether you achieved the number you have written down (which is not within your control).

Moving the goal posts.

It’s also alright to change the desired destination along the way – as long as you are changing them for the right reasons.

If you decide the actions are too hard, you can’t be bothered to carry out the plan and you’d rather just stay in your comfort zone, you’re probably going to kick yourself later for giving up on the goal. I urge you to have a little rest, take smaller steps for a while, talk to a coach (*cough* ME *cough*) for motivation and support.

But, if as you learn more, gain experience and are presented with opportunities you hadn’t considered, you may decide that the destination you were headed to isn’t what you thought or something else looks like a better fit, go for it. Don’t feel like you have to keep going along the road you are on just because you said so. It’s alright to change direction – but do so intentionally.

About Anxiety

Anxiety affects everyone in different ways. Whether its general anxiety, phobias, addictions, habits, weight issues or anything else you do it your own way. So, it stands to reason that the solution should be as individual as you are. I use a range of techniques, such as Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, EFT, Reiki and many other tools I’ve picked up along the way to work with YOU to find the best fit. We can work online from the comfort of your own home, or you can arrange to come to my private therapy room near Carlisle, Cumbria.

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