Over the last few weeks I have been talking about stress and why it impacts you, and also a little bit about how to reduce it, which is what I mainly want to focus on today.
There are always going to be difficult external events, situations or people in your life at some point or another. The only way to avoid that is to go nowhere, do nothing and interact with no one. All of which would bring issues of their own, such as boredom, loneliness and depression. I’m sure we can agree none of those are desirable. Loneliness in particular has a massive impact on our mental health.
So what can you do about the stress?
For some this will be obvious, for others it will be a revelation – you get to choose how you feel about things. And you get to choose to change how you feel about them at any time.
You can decide that a tight deadline isn’t stressful, its motivating. You can choose to think of that person you work with as a chance to practice patience, or as a lesson in handling yourself, rather than just as an outright areshole. You can opt to consider the traffic jam as a chance to belt out more of your favourite tunes rather than a hold on your time.
It may seem like it’s just semantics and makes no difference, but by reframing the situation you change how you feel about it. This is often something that takes repetition and practice, but it gets easier as you go.
Is it within your control?
You may have heard of the serenity prayer, which is often used in addiction circles, but I think is helpful for everyone.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.Serenity Prayer
The things that are within our control are actually quite narrow. We can control our thoughts, or which thoughts we choose to pay attention to anyway, and our actions. That’s it.
You have no control over other people’s thoughts or actions. You have no control over nature. You have no control over most things. That can either be scary, or liberating depending how you CHOOSE to see it.
Some outcomes you have influence over, by choosing sensible and appropriate actions, but ultimately you cannot control how they turn out, just what you put into it.
Who can help?
It’s great that you are able to be independent and do things for yourself, but you don’t have to do everything that way.
We’re not designed to do everything on our own, we evolved as tribe animals who worked together to stay safe and healthy and happy.
So, no matter what it is, reach out to someone. Talk about it, get a different perspective.
ASK FOR HELP! I know everyone has their own stuff going on, but for the most part they will be delighted you turned to them, people love to be useful. Also, supporting someone else isn’t a zero sum game for the helper, it feels great, so it’s benefitting them as well; this means you are not being a burden by asking for support, you are doing the other person a favour too.
Anxiety affects everyone in different ways. Whether its general anxiety, phobias, addictions, habits, weight issues or anything else you do it your own way. So, it stands to reason that the solution should be as individual as you are. I use a range of techniques, such as Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching, EFT, Reiki and many other tools I’ve picked up along the way to work with YOU to find the best fit. We can work online from the comfort of your own home, or you can arrange to come to my private therapy room near Carlisle, Cumbria.