It’s all too easy to feel like there is a lack of love in our lives, and sure this may be true for some people, but I think for most of us, when we feel like that, we’re often simply forgetting what love can look like. We have a habit of narrowing our vision of love down to a single ideal, and then rule out anything that doesn’t look like that.
It’s like the line from the song – I see friends shaking hands, asking “how do you do?”, they’re really saying “I love you.” – sometimes we need to look, listen and feel for the things that aren’t being said.
People generally show love in 5 different ways – and we each have a preference, so it’s easier to miss if the people in our lives are loving in a different language.
My aim here is to share those languages with you, so that not only can you recognize your own preference, but you may also recognize the preference of others, allowing you to talk their language so they recognize it more easily and allowing you to listen in their language too, so you feel loved more often. Hey, why not even be bold and tell people around you how you like to be told or shown that you’re loved so they can do the same for you!
The love languages
Words of affirmation
Compliments, affectionate words, being told outright that you are loved. Possibly the most obvious one, but it seems to be that those that need to hear the words find and partner up with those who don’t like to say it that way, and it causes conflict.
Quality time
Just being together doing whatever it is you do. Putting the phone down and paying attention to the person you’re with. Sharing nice meals, going for walks, watching a film. When someone just wants to be with you, to tag along to the shops or have a cuppa and a chat, they are saying they love you.
Receiving gifts
For some people this might seem materialistic, but it’s not about monetary value, it’s about someone showing you that they were thinking about you, recognized something they thought you would like and wanted to share it with you. Just little physical reminders that they are thinking about you.
Acts of Service
When someone does something for you that makes your day just a little bit easier or brighter. Whether it’s bringing you a cup of tea or helping you bring the shopping out of the car. This one is very easy to overlook if it’s not your go to language, but it happens all the time if you’re looking out for it!
Physical Touch
Yes, if this is in inmate relationship that might mean sex, but there are lots of other ways people use physical touch to convey love. A hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a rub on the arm, a squeeze of the hand.
When you start looking for signs of love in all these languages, you’ll see it everywhere you go.