Do you want to talk about it?
I know that I often don’t want to talk, because I don’t think I even have the words to describe the issue. There is just a feeling, a dis-ease and a story that I’ve been telling myself about it. And I have this worry that if I talk I won’t be able to explain, or the person I’m talking to won’t understand, or they will dismiss it as nothing.
And would talking about it even help? Maybe. Some times.
Talking about it has got to be better than pretending everything is fine and dandy. It’s must be better than numbing myself with my phone, netflix, or chocolate in the same way that others may numb with alcohol or drugs.
But, pretending the pain, whether it’s physical or mental, is not there isn’t going to make it go away.
That said, sometimes I can think about, or talk about, nothing else other than what’s on my mind. I stew on it, mull it over, talk about it to anyone who’ll listen until the point, where quite frankly, I bore myself.
There’s a time and place for both.
It’s a sliding scale
In my mind it’s a sliding scale. A scale I’ve been at both ends of and most points along the way.
Standing face to face with your issue, telling your story, voicing how you feel is very important, even if it’s only with yourself, not another person.
So is knowing when to stop sitting in the story of your past and start living the story of your future.
It’s something that we move through at different speeds with each issue with have, sometimes its easy and sometimes it feels impossible. Sometimes we can do it alone, and sometimes we need a hand.
Sometimes you may need to let go of the story and the emotions attached before you can talk about it.
Sometimes you may need to talk about it to even figure out what that story and those emotions are. Bear in mind that the story that you create around the issue, is not truth, it’s only your understanding, and that story can be either helpful or unhelpful.
That’s why I think finding the right path for you is really important when it comes to therapies – explore and test a few out – what you are offered, or what has worked well for others may not work for you. That’s why I’ve trained in so many different techniques, everyone needs something different!
It’s always going to be different for different people – and even different for you depending on the situation and that’s OK.